Note Number 50…It’s Always Easier for Men…

Apologies in advance for embarrassing any members of my family with this little post and if you don’t like discussing anything of a delicate nature then don’t read on.

beautiful day

Generally the roads around here are lined with impassable hedges…hmmm

I don’t wish to stir up the gender equality debate, but I’m sorry, it’s a FACT — no fake news on this blog — a man can take a pee in several other places rather than a loo, far more easily than a woman can — and what’s more, it’s accepted.

The pee debate for me began when a male friend of mine (who shall be nameless but lives in Burton Bradstock) posted on Facebook about seeing two woman on a country road squatting down, baring their backsides, to pee on the side of the road.  They were, I told him, obviously desperate and he had no idea how difficult it can be sometimes, for a woman to find anywhere to ‘go’. I told him that, when I was out walking the dog, I often found it impossible to find a place where I could hide away and not to be spotted, where there would be enough room etc. If I were a man it would be so much easier. No, stinging nettles to worry about, no panic about snakes, rodents or other small wildlife, that might be lurking in the long undergrowth etc., etc., His sister was with us at the time of this discussion (she shall also be nameless, but lives in North Devon) joined in the conversation and with great gusto said, ‘Oh but you must get a Shewee!’

‘A what?’

‘It’s a gadget that you can use to have a wee like a man.’

Well, I thought, I must get one of those. So duly got on to Amazon and ordered one with a carrying box. The first time I used it, it wasn’t too bad, but it did feel very weird and there was some leakage. Also it was quite bulky to carry in my bum bag. I discussed this whole thing with another friend, (who will also be nameless but comes from Bristol). She thought it a brilliant idea for camping, walking the dog and using some unsavoury public lavatories. She of course, because she’s like that, bought a more superior one called a Whizz Freedom. It was pliable and small and comes with a discreet carrying bag rather like a pencil-case.

‘I must have one of those!’ I declared. Quickly ordered on and then I took it out on my next long dog walk.  

DISASTER!! I should have practiced with it first as I found it so pliable it wasn’t effective enough and I ended up with wet knickers and wet trousers and I was only half way round my walk! I might as well have just wet my pants! Lesson learnt, I went back to the Shewee so that I could practice with the Whizz Freedom at home.

Alas and alack…today, whilst out on my 6k walk, I inevitably needed to pee after 3k, so I went into my usual hidey-hole, which is through a gate and round the corner a little bit. I stuck my walking stick through the handle of the dog lead, so she was ‘tethered’ so to speak and prepared to pee. A few feet away on the road I had just stepped away from, a woman walked past with a dog that barked at Jpeg, who duly barked back and pulled on her lead threatening to escape! I was interrupted at the most awkward time and yet again had to walk home with my dog walking trousers soggy. I think I’m going to give up and just squat in the corner of the field and hope that the man from Burton Bradstock isn’t lurking somewhere close or out in his car disguised as a driving school instructor!

Jpeg Tethered

Jpeg, patiently waiting whilst tethered, it didn’t last…

15 thoughts on “Note Number 50…It’s Always Easier for Men…

    • What an appropriate comment John…I might have expected that of you 🙂 Glad it made you laugh. I didn’t laugh at the time but I am now! x

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  1. This did make me laugh, Ninette! That’s the one thing that puts me off going for long walks. I have had to pee in many a field behind a hedge or tree in the past, but was always nervous someone would be able to see me. I don’t think I’ll bother with one of those gadgets, though! xx

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    • You’re probably wise not to bother, but I’m not going to give up yet! I’m determined to master them both because — if used correctly, I believe they can be useful!

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  2. The men in my family seem to have bladders as effective as camel humps. Very annoying. My all time classic was making it to a train connection just in time and going straight to the loo, only to find it hadn’t locked, as someone pressed the button outside and the door slid open and I was sat in front of a busy platform of commuters at Bristol Parkway!

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  3. Thanks Ninette for making me giggle on a rather yucky day. I just can’t cope with toilet manouevres in public, and have to concentrate away from the need! However I have ended up having to walk in a very strange crossed leg style as desperation sets in and I’m still far from home ! x Old Fairy x

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  4. Ninette, that did make me laugh. Poor you, with the soggy knickers. Must have been a long, cold walk home! My friend, who’s an avid camper, swears by her ‘shewee’ but perhaps it just takes a bit of practice! Good luck and don’t let the damn thing defeat you!

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